The Sabotage Is Real When Dealing With Toxic People

Originally Published July 24, 2013.

We all have to go through life and learn our lessons. But some of us are taking the difficult, dangerous route when it comes to really evaluating the elements in our lives. As we all know, actions lead to consequences, and some have long-term effects that could have been avoided.

If you’re a leader, you’ll often find that there are people who won’t be able to come with you on your ascent to the top. They may be boos, spouses, family members, long-time friends, or short-term acquaintances. There are always vital decisions to be made when it comes to who we surround ourselves with or decide to give mental and emotional capital to.

For many of us, we give people passes, making excuses for toxic behavior and not recognizing the irreversible damage keeping them around could be doing. Here are the top five dangers of toxic people for you to spot, evaluate, and eradicate.

Loss of confidence

Oftentimes, toxic people will suck you dry emotionally and, ultimately, physically. You’ll find yourself depleted, unable to perform at 100% in other aspects of your life because you’re so consumed with the strife and drama these types of people bring. If you stick around too long, self-defeating coping efforts for these people will trickle into how you deal with coworkers and workplace projects, dramatically deterring true progress and boss moves. They’ll become almost normal—habits that will be challenging to break.

Loss of income

If you’re in an abusive relationship—whether mental, physical, or emotional—you may miss days of work or totally flop on projects due to the stress and physical effects of the toxic situation. You may miss appointments and get into a cycle of lies you can’t keep up with. Oftentimes, people don’t trust others who don’t value themselves enough to get out of toxic relationships, so they may not even rely on you professionally or may doubt your skills.

Financial ruin

There are those toxic people who often need a loan or a hand-out. They never have realistic solutions for the problems in their lives, and they will manipulate you into helping them, oftentimes at your own expense. Also, you may end up going out of your way to aid these types, causing you to make bad choices like taking out a line of credit, co-signing on an outrageous loan, or accommodating stress-relieving, fun activities on your dime. Also, you may find yourself recklessly spending on recreational or other activities to cope, redirecting funds that could be used for better boss moves into frivolous, expensive endeavors.

Loss of relationships

Confident leaders are often very authoritative when it comes to knowing the risks of being around toxic people. Many have built a sense of discernment and will make decisions based on the cause and effect of every move. If you’re consistently surrounded by toxic people, you’ll find that people who could positively contribute to your life will keep their distance. They have too much to lose to be caught in the quicksand.

Loss of self-awareness

They say birds of a feather flock together, and that rings true for keeping toxic people around. Eventually, their negative habits and ways of thinking will begin to rub off on you. You’ll find yourself acting out of character and consistently thinking with a problem-focused mentality.

All in all, toxic people add no value to your life but strife. You can learn positive lessons by surrounding yourself with people with healthy outlooks on life who can give you constructive criticism out of love and can help advocate for your success. Seek them out in your educational or faith-based institutions or professional organizations, and protect your happiness. If the person is a loved one that you feel you have no choice but to deal with, learn to love from a distance. Take small steps to distance yourself, whether it’s volunteering, working toward that promotion, or finding a new project that will enrich your life. Your mental and physical health is not only important but ensures you’re making the maximum boss moves for success.

Written by Janell Hazelwood 

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