Whose Mans Is This? White House Claims Elon Musk ‘Does Not Run’ DOGE

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As someone who spends a good amount of time covering politics, I’ve had a hard time trying to place Elon Musk into the human misery and degradation administration currently known as the Trump White House.

As it stands, he’s the richest man in the world and he doesn’t seem to have a job. NewsOne senior editor Bilal Morris noted that he was giving “Tommy vibes,” which means I’m waiting for someone inside the Trump White House to yell out, “You ain’t got no job, Elon?!”

But I’ve always felt that Elon was more SCRUBS than Tommy; he’s the buster “hanging out the passenger side of his best friend’s ride” trying to holler at America. Did you not see the Oval Office press conference where his son literally told the President of the United States to pipe down?

Up until now, we’ve been told that he’s the head of some fictional department that seems to have presidential authority to take over federal buildings and eliminate everyone that’s working there. And did I mention that he’s never been vetted by Congress or even given an office federal government lanyard? And yet no one seems to be able to stop him. I’ve been waiting for the geriatric version of the congressional Avengers to form and take down South African Thanos, but as it stands, they all seem to be defenseless to his gathering for the federal information stones. (And best believe that I’ve been checking my credit report daily because I don’t believe Musk to be above opening a line of credit at Best Buy using my name.) 

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And now, as if things weren’t confusing enough, The White House has come out to say that Elon Musk “does not run, or even work for, the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE),” Mediaite reports.

“In a legal filing late Monday, Joshua Fisher — the director of the White House’s Office of Administration — stated in an affidavit that Musk is ‘not an employee of the U.S. DOGE Service or the U.S. DOGE Service temporary organization,’” the news site notes.

“Mr. Musk is an employee of the White House office,” Fisher wrote. “He holds that position as a non-career Special Government Employee (“SGE”). In that job, Mr. Musk is a Senior Advisor to the President.”

Fisher added, “In his role as Senior Advisor to the President, Mr. Musk has no greater authority than other Senior White House Advisors. Like other Senior White House Advisors, Mr. Musk has no actual or formal authority to make government decisions.”

This is like learning that Scooby Doo was really a part of the investigative branch of Mystery Inc. but merely worked in an advisory role. This is the equivalent of finding out that Inspectah Deck wasn’t a full-fledged member of the Wu-Tang Clan but was, in fact, a mentor to the crew. Let me find out that Musk was never really a Destiny Child and that it was better for him to “go home than not have luggage.”

Seriously, whose mans is this? This man has been out repping DOGE-lyfe and throwing up Nazi gang signs since Trump was elected and now they aren’t claiming him? Something tells me that “something is rotten in the state of Denmark.”

Either the Trump administration has learned that Elon Musk’s position as an unvetted assassin for the Trump administration is highly illegal, or they are trying to phase him out. Either way, this works for America as Musk’s attempts to create a South African-like apartheid state in the U.S. have hopefully been stomped out some weeks after it got started. 

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