High Egg-Spectations: Trump Was Never Going To Bring Down Egg Prices

Source: Tom Williams / Getty

There used to be a time when opulence was a luxury vehicle or a high-end purse. Now, you are a baller if you have a 12-pack of giant eggs just chilling in your fridge!

Because egg prices are so high…

Audience: How high are they, Steve?

They are so high that if I threw an egg at your car, I would need to stop you to get the yolk back. 

No, seriously, not only are egg prices through the roof, supermarkets have begun limiting the amount of eggs someone can buy.

“Due to ongoing issues with the supply of eggs, we are currently limiting egg purchases to one dozen per customer, per day, in all Trader Joe’s stores across the country,” a spokesperson said in a statement, NBC News reports. “We hope these limits will help to ensure that as many of our customers who need eggs are able to purchase them when they visit Trader Joe’s.”

And you know who is to blame for this? President Trump. 

The bird flu. Many market analysts believe the highly infectious disease is to blame, having led to some “13 million hens [which] have been lost or slaughtered since December.” But you know who said he was going to lower prices of eggs as soon as he got into office? No, seriously, guess.  That’s right, President Elon Musk Trump.

“When I win, I will immediately bring prices down, starting on Day One,” Trump claimed over and over on the campaign trail. In fact, because the president is so **eggs-tra, this became a mainstay in his messaging while running for office. 

As it stands, it’s been three weeks since Trump took office and not only are egg prices higher than Willie Nelson on a rocket ship, but you’ve got to know a guy who knows a guy just to buy some. 

Seriously, let me stop yolking around. And get back to the sternly worded email sent by Democrats who love to sternly word an email instead of actually doing something when America has a dictator wearing pumpkin sherbert extract for foundation who issued all the executive orders he could muster but never got around to these egg prices. 

“You have instead focused on mass deportations and pardoning January 6 attackers, including those who assaulted Capitol police officers,” Sen. Elizabeth Warren and 20 congressional Democrats wrote in a letter to president. “Your sole action on costs was an executive order that contained only the barest mention of food prices, and not a single specific policy to reduce them.”

I don’t think the Democrats know, so who is going to tell them that the president is a well-known liar?

Even the president, he of weathered basketball skin, had to come out and admit that he didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. 

“Prices are going to come down, but it’s going to take a little bit of time,” he said, CNN reports.

For the TLDR crowd, egg prices were never going to come down on day one because bird flu is wiping out hoards of hens and ruining the market and you know who should’ve known this? 

The Egg-omaniac in the White House.

** I’m a dad and if you thought for a second that I wasn’t going to off these dad egg yolks, you are scrambled. **

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